Doing "shoulds" and "ought tos" is energy draining. When I have a "should" I ask myself if I want to do it and what will happen if I don't. Then I rephrase that I want to do it or chose not to do it. I find it really helps me to say out loud to others that I want to do X rather than I should do X or I must do X.

For example instead of "I should do my taxes" I say "I want to get my taxes completed today so I can enjoy the rest of my week and so I avoid the consequence of being stressed doing them at the last minute."

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