Sometimes we want everyone to like us and go into control
patterns to try to achieve this instead of being real with others.
This article talks about this and gives some tips on being your
true self.
"When I was a little girl, about nine years old, living in Bay
Village, Ohio, I came home from a birthday party and burst into
tears. “What’s wrong?” my mother asked.
“Suzy Wright doesn’t like me!” I said.
“How do you know?”
“Because everyone told me she doesn’t,” I sobbed.
Continued at http://www.realsimple.com/realsimple/content/0,21770,1580456-1,00.html
Many of us are afraid to ask for what we want in a relationship for fear or either not getting it or of having the other person give it to them out of obligation. Asking for what you want is an act of trust. You are taking a step into the unknown – not knowing how the other person will respond. We are giving up control because when we chose to relate we don't know what the answer will be. And in my experience it is better to practice lots of asking and getting some No than to avoid asking and then making asking a request mean more than it does.
This week we will practicing saying what we want, what we don't want and from who. And renegotiating these requests when we notice that our feelings have changed. Oh my goodness what if others get angry or upset by our requests? We will work with that energy too!
[Some text from copied from http://www.susancampbell.com/datinghelp/10truthskills.html ]
I run a Getting Real honesty salon in Rockville MD. Getting Real is about communicating honestly, being in the present moment and being with our feelings more than our thoughts and internal judgments.
At the salon we practice honest communication with other students of Getting Real. We practice the ten communication guidelines of Getting Real:
· being with what is · transparency · noticing your intent · welcoming feedback · asserting your wants and not wants. · Taking back projections · Revising an earlier statement · Holding differences · Sharing mixed emotions · Being ok with silence
Each salon starts with a brief check in and then a focus on one of the honesty guidelines. Then we work on the issues, triggers and buttons that people bring to the group with the intent to interrupt our patterns. This is an opportunity to grow and learn more about being present and honest in real life situations. Email me if you are interested in joining the group.
Pre-requisite: Read Susan Campbell's book "Getting Real" When: 1st and 3rd Tuesday of the month 7pm – 9pm Where: Rockville MD Cost: $10 per session
