Do you communicate to relate or to control? When your intent is to relate, you are most interested in revealing your true feelings, learning how the other feels, and connecting heart-to-heart. When your intent is to control, you are most interested in getting things to turn out a certain way - avoiding conflict, getting the person to like you, being seen as knowledgeable or helpful, etc.
Quiz (1 = usually not true, 5 = mostly true)
1. If another person and I disagree on how something should be done, I'm usually right
2. I get very uncomfortable when I don't know what's expected of me.
3. I'm almost always in the teacher role as opposed to learner role.
4. I hate feeling awkward and unsure of myself, and I avoid situations that make me feel this way.
5. If someone gives me negative feedback about something I have done I'm not likely to tell this person how the feedback affects me
6. If I'm upset by the behavior of someone close to me, I'm not like to disclose this.
From Getting Real book page 69. See that page for how to score the quiz
