Sharing mixed emotions

Sometimes we want to tell someone the truth but at the same time we are concerned about their feelings. A desire to clear the air might be accompanied by a fear of being misunderstood. Or I might both appreciate you cooking dinner when I asked you not to and be irrated that you did it too. Or  I might love you and be angry at your when you slammed the door.

When sharing mixed emotions I recommend that you use "and" between them rather than "but". A "but" tends to negate the part that come before it. Try saying these two version out loud:

"I love you and I resent you for being late"
to
"I love you but I resent you for being late"
for me the second version with "but" I don't feel the person loves me.

Quiz (from Getting Real Chapter 10 page 170)
Score 5 for general true and 1 for generally not true
1. I believe it is always better to have one clear feeling than two
2. I try to avoid feeling confused.
3. I get impatient with people who say one feeling and then immediately say another.
4. It would bother me if people thought me uncertain or unsure of myself
5. If I had to reprimand or discipline someone that I loved I would keep a stiff upper lip and avoid showing my softer, caring feelings

See the book for how to score the quiz.