This Wednesday Sandbox gathering  How often do we please others rather than ourselves? What effect does this behavior have on our inner life? What would happen if we played for two hours at asking for what we want and saying Yes or No – honestly – to other's requests? If this is a somewhat scary prospect, it must be the perfect opportunity to come and experiment with others in a safe space!
 
Kick the People Pleasing Habit and you will

• Get clearer boundaries
• Don't be afraid to ask for what you want
• Don't get anxious that you won't say no when you want to

Practicing saying No helps us be clearer on what we want to say Yes to and to who. Learning to hear No from someone else without having to turn it into a rejection story is refreshing too. Saying or hearing No can be hard at first, so we will loosen up first with some body movement exercises! Finally we will practice our skill in a play sandbox where you can ask for touch and decide if you want to accept touch or not from others.

Sandbox Explorations gets its name from the idea that when we take responsibility for establishing clear personal boundaries, it makes it safer for us and others to play together in a safe, authentic way. More connection, joy and intimacy result. So, if I tell you some clear basic ground rules about what it takes for me to feel safe in my own virtual sandbox, than you can safely get close to me and I can safely open to you.

"As a recovering People Pleaser whose 'theme song' (from A Chorus
Line:)  was "What I Did For Love" and who used to be (according to my
husband), "an emotional contortionist who would bend over backward to
please people.", I see oh so clearly my motivation for doing so. That
was an 'insurance policy' for being loved. After all, who wouldn't
love a caregiver who (in theory, at least) put other people first.

"I had great role models for that in my parents (Mom in particular) who
often put their own needs aside in service to others, so I learned
from the Masters. What I came to realize (just like on an airplane
when the flight attendant offers pre-flight instructions) was that if
I didn't put the oxygen mask on myself first, I couldn't put it on
anyone else since I was (metaphorically speaking), passed out on the
floor from oxygen deprivation. I became 'all gived out' and
experienced compassion fatigue. 

The games begins after dinner at 8pm.  I invite you to join us, though as always what ever choice you make you will be honored in.

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