How to overcome the addiction to partner?

I liked this. I have been working on eliminating "I will miss you" from
my vocabulary and instead focus on what is here now. Missing is an
emotion of lack for me and I chose to focus on what I do have.
love
M/M

PaulsList@lists.paullowe.org wrote:

> A reply from some time ago…
>
> --------------------------------------
>
> Your addiction to your partner...
>
> When you base your feeling of happiness on something outside of yourself
> it does not work ?- you will never feel fully fulfilled.
> Your feeling of well-being is dependant on something that is not under
> your control.
> If they were to die, or leave, you would have a choice: curl up and be
> depressed; find another partner - with whom to depend upon for happiness;
> be with yourself and feel what you are feeling.
>
> If you look to the past, or the future, you are not here.
> The depth of the state of well-being is in this moment. Only this moment.
> If you look back you are not here; if you look forward you are not here.
> Life/living is here now. Now.
> Missing something is not here; looking forward to something is not here.
> And there is only here. Missing something equals not being here; looking
> forward to something equals not being here.
>
> When your partner is not there, be where you are, in each moment.
> When the mind goes one nanosecond to the past, or future, you will not be
> here now, and you will feel missing. Be in each moment ? just each moment,
> and be with how it is, or take responsibility, and change it.
>
> Either be here, and feel what you are feeling, or go there, but not here
> complaining about not being there. Be responsible.
> If you have decided to be where you are, and your partner is not there (or
> even if they are there) just be with who you are, in that very moment.
>
> Do not listen to the addictive process of the mind. Be where you are,
> exactly as you are. If you are away, and missing them, and you have
> decided to stay away, just feel exactly what you are feeling, and accept
> it. 
> Don’t complain it is not intelligent.
>
> (In the film What the Bleep one scientist keeps saying that when you look
> at
> an object, say, a chair, a certain part of the brain is activated. If you
> are blindfolded and asked to think of the chair, the same part of the brain
> is activated in exactly the same way. So when we look ? do we see a chair,
> or our brain activation? When we see our partner, do we see out partner,
> or our brain simulation?)