Many of us are afraid to ask for what we want in a relationship for fear or either not getting it or of having the other person give it to them out of obligation. Asking for what you want is an act of trust. You are taking a step into the unknown – not knowing how the other person will respond. We are giving up control because when we chose to relate we don't know what the answer will be. And in my experience it is better to practice lots of asking and getting some No than to avoid asking and then making asking a request mean more than it does.

This week we will practicing saying what we want, what we don't want and from who. And renegotiating these requests when we notice that our feelings have changed. Oh my goodness what if others get angry or upset by our requests? We will work with that energy too!

[Some text from copied from http://www.susancampbell.com/datinghelp/10truthskills.html ]

This entry was posted on January 13, 2007 at 11:37 PM and has received 1131 views. There are currently 0 comments. Print this entry.

I was talking with a fellow Sandboxer about touch today.
They like it! Ok, that is true for most of us, most days. :-) But they weren't sure how to tell folks
what body parts  they wanted touched and want parts they wanted left alone. And worse on
some days they want to be held and on other days eye gazing is enough connection. Plus
they might want to be touched one way by person A and another way by person B and not
at all by person C. "Hmmm", I said, "this sounds exactly why we have a Sandbox!" - a safe place
where we can experiment with clearly expressing our wants and don't wants.

So this Wednesday at 7pm we with do an exercise for those who want to strengthen their
expression of their boundaries. Practicing saying what touch we want, what we don't want
and from who. And renegotiating these boundaries when we notice that our feelings have changed.
Oh my goodness what if others get angry or upset by our requests? We will work with that energy
too. All part of the growth possible in the Sandbox. Afraid of doing this kind of work? All the more
reason to show up this week!

Of course if this exercise is not for you are at choice to attend and not do the exercise and enjoy
great company, food and connection.

This entry was posted on January 13, 2007 at 11:18 PM and has received 664 views. There are currently 0 comments. Print this entry.